What Achdus Does, and Doesn’t, Mean
Vitriolic resentment is no substitute for substantive discussions
As long as the beliefs are sourced in the Torah, we can accept them as our brothers – Bnei Bris and members of Hashem’s nation. Even those who reject the Torah, by virtue of their obligation to accept the Torah, are our brothers and sisters.
The idea of one nation never meant monolithic beliefs and lifestyles. We respect each other for our differences. We know we don’t have a Bas Kol or a Navi anymore, and as sure as we are of our opinions, others do not have to accept them. We gain from hearing different perspectives, even when we don’t adopt them. We understand our own positions better, and we learn empathy with others at the same time.
For example, I am not Chassidish; I was brought up as a Misnaged and taught why we believe what we believe and why their opinions are wrong. However, when meeting a Chassid, I can focus on their positives. They have the ability to drop everything to do a favor for another Yid, something that comes quite difficult to me. Their pious ones daven with greater connection than we do, and we can learn from them in that. Even the aspects that I consider negative, such as the Rebbe worship and misguided view of Kabbala are a product of their beliefs, and they pay a price for it, something to be commended. I can focus on the negative or the positive. I don't have to change my beliefs and lifestyle, and I can gain from their dedication, even when it's different to mine.
This does not come naturally to many people. It is way easier to lounge comfortably in the stuffed armchair of extreme opinions and unchallenged narratives. Only when we make the decision to improve our Bein Adam Lachaveiro and to really attempt to connect to all of Klal Yisroel, do we have the ability to appreciate more than one opinion at a time and uplift ourselves.
True Achdus is accepting others despite their differences, and appreciating the contributions each of us gives, not seeking the differences and sowing discord.
The letter to the Charedi mothers has no chance of success. The Charedi community is not a primitive group that hasn’t thought of all of the arguments mentioned by Dr. Elitzur. They live with a different lifestyle and ethos. This letter can only have one outcome – increasing animosity. The writer shows no willingness to appreciate the differences between us, accept another viewpoint, or act with humility toward others.
Her letter is just another way to persuade women, not Charedi women but RZ women, that they are being shortchanged. Charedim won't suffer from it, but it will hurt the signers and those who will, more likely, read it. Instead of riding the wave of idealism, she has introduced a worm of discomfit and cynicism. The enemy is no longer Hamas, it is the bewigged lady whose son is occupied with Abaye and Rava.
What a shame!
Disclaimer: The introductory text in italics and subtitle is from me.
I am wondering about what you write, that achdus comes from accepting people despite their differences. Surely that is very limited, as we don't accept Reform, Conservative, secular, secularist modox that are not too different than these- meaning we don't want *religious* achdus with them. But we can share national achdus, as long as they are ok with us not sharing religious achdus. The problem is that they are not ok with it. They resent it greatly that we don't accept their religious positions.