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Yehoshua's avatar

A very powerful and true point. However, I would like to provide the other side of the coin. My first 2 points are those that can be found in many current hadracha sefarim regarding Teshuva, Elul, Yom Kippur etc. The last is specifically regarding this period.

1.Focusing on sacrifice can distract from our regular avodah, which is most important.

2.Along those lines, grandiose sacrifices are not long lasting. Smaller things, if done with a full heart (such as really pouring one's full heart into Tefillah and the extra Tehillim these days) can have a much more lasting effect.

This is why there is much focus today on Reb Yisrael Salanter's yesod of defining oneself as a Shuv b'teshuva through changing direction.

3.The פרקי דרבי אליעזר (פל"ב) states ולמה נקרא שמו ישמעאל שעתיד הקב"ה לשמוע בקול נאקת העם ממה שעתידין בני ישמעאל לעשות לפיכך נקרא שמו ישמעאל שנאמר ישמע א-ל ויענם. (ובקץ הימין הביא מהרח"ו בשם הפרדר"א בזה"ל ישמעאל על שעתידין ישראל לצעוק צעקות גדולות בימיו וכו'). וע"ע בעל הטורים דברים לא,כט.

The lesson of Yishmael is that the chesed of 'ה to those that cry out to him is beyond human comprehension, and without accessing the 'חסד ה all human actions (even in ruchnius) are powerless. Unfortunately, the Bnei Yishmael utilize this for their nefarious purposes, and to amass their great wealth. But this lesson must be taken to heart these days. We must recognize the tremendous and incomprehensible power of pouring one's heart to ה'.

I feel that the role of self-sacrifice now is mainly to help intensify our Tefillos. A society of בני עשו cannot comprehend what can possibly be gained from יחלה עצמו עליו and would encourage such a person to run to a therapist (yes, sometimes that is necessary), but as Yidden we understand that the power of כי שמע ה’ אל עניך is unparalleled. Perhaps a few sleepless nights is a small price to pay for such an opportunity. (And perhaps the power of such תפלות to the נפש האדם is much deeper than a therapy session.)

These incredibly horrible days are a tremendous opportunity to invest in the כח התפלה. The connection to ‘ה that can be achieved through pouring out one’s heart to Him at such a time is something that may well be irreplaceable. It is sometimes hard to understand how so many of our grandparents rebuilt their lives after incredible trauma, but perhaps we can’t grasp the level of attachment to 'ה they achieved בימי חושך וצלמות.

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Isha Yiras Hashem's avatar

For mothers with children, like myself, the best contribution is staying emotionally healthy.

So if your sacrifice is something that your wife will suffer from, even if only from a change of your mood, you're actually doing an aveira.

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