Oh No! The Sky is Falling Again! (This Time It's for Real!)

You can trust my predictions because I know how to make charts in Excel and learned in 7th grade what "exponential" means

I teach you math lesson today

I was amused to see that there was another crazed doomsday post on RJ, from a “guest” who

learned for many years in charedi yeshivos in Israel and lives in the charedi community. M also works in the financial sector, and thus he has a full understanding of the issues regarding charedim and the economy.

Aha, he really has all the credentials. His post displays a tremendous and far reaching understanding of chareidi society and the economy, by copying and pasting alarmist articles from the Calcalist online newspaper, something non-financially-skilled morons like you could never do. He includes amazingly insightful, rigorous, empirically tested lines like

But, without a revolution in Charedi education and employment, the terrifying alternative is change only occurring when there are tens of millions of Charedim living in ramshackle accommodation with a Somalia-like life expectancy amidst marauding Iran-backed militias, and anyone who is able to has left the country already.

Wow! What kind of advanced financial education do you need to make predictions like this? He must be a double Phd in something. Pretty good for somebody who “learned for many years in charedi yeshivos in Israel and lives in the charedi community.”

But his ironclad, will-definitely-happen-no-fibbing forecast is really depressing. I never knew things would get so bad. After decades and decades of people like him predicting the end of Israel due to the chareidim (of course, he still lives allegedly in chareidi society. Some things you just can’t give up), it’s finally happening! Ramshackle accommodations are springing up by the millions!

The ramshackle Somalia-like Schneller Estates, prominently advertised in every issue of Ami and Mishpacha

We were just kidding about the whole Zionism thing

One line I found really revealing was the following

It stands to reason that many of the most qualified and economically productive citizens will simply leave, rather than pay ever-increasing taxes to fund a wilfully economically unproductive minority.

Oh? Really? I thought the whole idea of Zionism is that Israel is the only place Jews can really be safe and prosper, and we owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to the secular Zionists for making that possible, right? But all of the sudden, for the purposes of doom-mongering, the entire Land of Israel and State of Israel is just totally unnecessary, and all these successful Zionists will have no problem just going elsewhere? Oh well, there goes that. That just shows you how sincere the secular Zionists really are.

I’m a genius who understands exponential growth

But it’s the author’s bombastic focus on painstakingly explaining to us what “exponential” means, like he’s a bloody math professor, that really does it for me. Exponential growth is like, something they teach you in, like, 7th grade. Like, chill man. Your “financial background” doesn’t make you God’s gift to mankind.

However, since the author is so worried about exponential graphs and stuff, I think it’s time to pull out the most worrying exponential graph there is. HOME HEALTH CARE!

Now boys, let me teach you a course in exponential growth. You see, home health care is increasing exponentially year after year. Eventually it will consume the entire economy and we will all starve to death because there is nobody working in the grocery store or bakery. You think this is an exaggeration? That’s because studies show that human beings struggle to grasp the concept of exponential growth (I’m also a sociologist on the side, you know.)

So uh, we better do something about this disaster in the making.

For more about crazed doomsday predictions, see here.

Another cool graph because, why not