How to Deal with the World? Isolation or Involvement?

Guest post from Jerry Steinfeld

Hey all! My name (well, moniker) is Jerry Steinfeld, but despite the uncanny resemblance to a certain famous "Jewish" figure, don't expect too many jokes, sorry. (For that you may want to ask מרכבות or Happy...) Though I did once have a dream where I was actually doing stand-up with a sizable crowd, and at the time we all thought my joke was hilarious. But sadly, when I woke up, the joke actually made zero sense. Which was a little disturbing if anything. Needless to say, that was the end of my comedy career.

Truth is, my family name IRL is Neuman - hence my avatar, my "maiden" name is Stein (my wife is a Stein), and my mother's maiden name is Grunfeld so I thought adopting the name Jerry SteinFeld, paired with a picture of Neuman would be fitting :) I do hope this piece of personal trivia isn't too revealing, as I prefer to maintain my anonymity, and I will not be answering any further questions about my identity, but thankfully neither I nor my parents are on Simcha Spot so we should be safe. But this leads right to the point: a Chareidi would rather be found dead than caught with his real identity in the blogosphere. Why? Why are we so secretive? Who are we hiding from? Why so shady?

As always, the answer to this has many facets and layers, but I wish to focus on one, the very one that applies to Chareidi culture in general. For example, when it comes to dealing with people like Dr. Slifkin, the standard Chareidi approach is generally to ignore, disparage, disregard, distance, ban, marginalize, devalue, downplay and, in general, just stay away from him. We who engage with him on blogs are a tiny minority. An outsider may look in and think we are scared because we don't have answers, and that the point of the insulation is to keep the myth alive. But we all know that this is not true. So why are we so insular? This is the question I really want to deal with. 

Before we try to answer this, let us point out that this isolationist attitude extends far beyond our relationship with this or that heretical book. It plays out when it comes to science, politics, culture, current events, the workforce and now - the war. We don't join the workforce to the same extent as others, we don't help the army with the protection of our country, many of us don't go to rallies. We generally don't partake in scientific progress. We shy away from political and philosophical discourse. I'm not saying any of these things are ideal; many are downright negative. But there's an obvious pattern here: we are separate from the rest of the world. The question is, in 2024, given all the problems that are being pointed out with our culture, many of them in large part founded and grounded, is this the right way to go? (We can discuss the specifics after; right now I want to try to understand the root of this cultural personality.) 

The answer to this pressing question, why Chareidim are so distant, is precisely because the reality is that we actually are separate from the rest of the world, and engaging with them is mostly futile, fruitless, and can even be dangerous. There is actually really little we can say that will change the opponents' minds. In order to truly understand a Chareidi, one needs to embed themselves in the culture. And once again, the outsider will call this brainwashing, and there's probably little we can say to convince him otherwise. But from our persepctive, we are the community that follows in the footsteps of the Ramban, the Rashba, the Beis Yosef, the Rema, the Arizal, the Gra, the Chazon Ish, Reb Elchanan, Reb Moshe Feinstein, Reb Elyashiv and so many hundreds of other clear-headed, razor sharp, truth-seeking, knowledgeable individuals. And we don't blindly follow them either, rather we trust them like an apprentice trusts the master who already acquired all the many skills for the job, until we can stand on our own two feet. It begins with Emunas Chachomim, but ends with this invaluable, indispensable, beautiful picture of how the world really works. This takes years of growth and training, and not everyone inside puts in the proper effort to "get it" (and so we find some who think they were a part of our culture when they really never were). 

We learn how to analyze a sugya, which tests every one of our skills and traits. Our ego is put to test every time we learn a sugya, where we need to set aside our assumptions and presumptions and just see what the Rishonim and Acharonim say as we learn from them how to think, not submitting to our own biases. Our critical thinking skills are developed as we learn from them how to break apart a sevara. Our complex thinking abilities are strengthened as we learn from people far greater than us who in turn learned from people far greater than them, back to people like the Magen Avraham and Shach. 

Simultaneously, we learn the great works of mussar which teach the true, unparalleled value of a mitzvah and true chomer of an aveira R'l. An aveira is not just an "oh whoops!" like spilling soup, and a mitzvah is so much more than some rationalist's dry interpretation of "furthering intellectual/moral goals for the individual and society." Rather, it is a deep relationship between man and his Creator which goes beyond anything this world has to offer. Something that only has meaning to begin with within the world and walls of the BM.

And these are just some things that we learn in our training towards being just a classic, good Chareidi, which to us, is just being an ideal, classic Jew. And hopefully, we take these deep messages to heart and not waste time with the pettiness of the world and we live a life full of Hashem and His Torah.

But try to explain the unimaginable greatness of a Rishon to an outsider who's never experienced any levels of greatness ever - it's a completely futile exercise (and conversing with outsiders here on blogs has been one of the clearest demonstrations of this. To them, it’s all fake, Torah greatness is fake, kedushah is fake, spirituality is fake, etc.) And try to go further and explain the chashivus of a mitzvah? The chomer of an aveira? Levels of growth in Avodas Hashem? Forget about it! They won't even know what you're trying to say. "Fluffy spirituality," they call it, "manipulating spiritual entities," and so on. A connection with God, saying "You" to the Being who created this world itself, the feeling that drives the Chareidi life, is sadly distant and cold to the academic, so-called “rational” Jew. These outsiders are left grumbling about our attitude towards this temporary world (workforce, army etc.), when they don't know the first thing about the next! 

So what are we left with to do? We can't change their minds; there is nothing to say. So instead, we do the only thing we can: We alienate them. We banish the heretics. Why? To prevent our people from being exposed to their insidious ideas too early. The learned yungerman or baalebos who "gets it" can see how silly and petty their arguments are against the mountain of Judaism called the Mesorah, but those who have not developed the skills are susceptible. And here's the issue: the only way to become learned is by putting in the effort, but until then it really is just trust. If at any point too early someone is exposed to other damaging ways of thinking, that can be the end of them. Sometimes they "just" end up like our dear confused friends who comment on a certain blog, sometimes like the proprietor, and sometimes even worse. So instead, we distance and marginalize them lest they harm our precious youth who deserve the best shot to work towards being נהנה מזיו השכינה. And we meanwhile try to instill our values and make our insulated community strong and content so that an insider won't have to look outward until he is ready. Sure, this method has its faults. But is there a better way? This blog is already in the position of trying to do damage control, there is no need to introduce more damage.

In other words, we don't mind if one needs to engage with the outside world. Many even should. But they first need the tools. So we encourage so-called "censorship," insulation and isolation. Amalek attacks to those who are weak and before the tower is strong enough, he can sow seeds of doubt (עמלק גימטריה ספק). But once the tower is built, a small question, while surely a question, simply will not be strong enough to logically knock down the whole immense, well-grounded structure.

And circling back to what we started with, this is why we Chareidim here want to stay anonymous, because being in the blogosphere is highly unusual for a chareidi and is frowned upon by most- for the excellent reasons stated. Ultimately, we recognize that the only real answers are in the Beis Medrash and the Torah environment. They are not in the workforce; they are not in the IDF, they are not on the internet. They are in the words of Rava and Abaye. They are in the words of the Rambam and the Rashba. In Reb Akiva Eiger and the Ketzos. In Reb Chaim and Reb Boruch Ber. They are in the mouth of the living Rebbi who gives over the heilege mesorah. They are found in the daled amos shel halacha, in the yeshivos, in our chinuch approach which our opponents want to destroy.