Anger without Accountability
The first thing that bothered me was the attempt to justify the subject’s terrible self-centered behavior (“this is me- raw, unfiltered- it’s all about ME”) and subsequent self-righteously playing the victim. I don’t know if Closeted is culpable of the same things himself, but either way, that’s what he’s defending. Subject just gets a free pass to do tremendous damage to his family (all for the noble, lofty goal of preventing self-erasure, of course), take zero responsibility for his actions, and then blame everybody else and feel righteous indignation about it afterwards.
Now for the main point: I understand that somebody might initially be angry at having to do stuff that he considers meaningless. I get it. But for most normal people, this is an annoyance one eventually gets accustomed to. Especially if it’s something one has been doing all his life. I constantly have to do things I consider silly or meaningless, for my job, for my kids, for the rest of my family, for my community. I would guess this is the situation with most of us. Once you are married, once you have kids, once you have job, you are NOT a free man anymore! You CANNOT just “be yourself”. This is such normal, basic stuff, I can’t believe I have to say it. You have obligations and things which you must refrain from, whether you agree with them or not.
Yes, it can be annoying. Very annoying. But it’s not like atheists are such special snowflakes in this regard. There is something deeply wrong with somebody who feels this degree of constant rage and torment about so-called meaningless things which he has been doing for decades already. He’s acting like every time he can’t scroll on his phone for a few hours, he’s getting raped. Every time he’s not allowed to eat a cheeseburger on a family trip, he’s starving in a gulag. His existence would be erased if he didn’t leave his family to attend the Burning Man festival. Sitting in shul on Shabbos morning is his personal holocaust. Please. This is pathetic.
See my other comment on Ash’s blog here
I don’t think you are accurately portraying what the author of this article said or meant.
Well said. A therapist needs to be more sympathetic to be effective, but for the rest of society, things need to be said as they are. To this person's credit though, he isn't critical of his wife as much as his friends.